I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
