false alarm. still invincible.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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