You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
