I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
