So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
