Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize