I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
