Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
