bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize