thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
