It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
