I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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