you win again, gameday.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
