Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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