I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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