Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
