I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Randomize
