He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
