the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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