We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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