haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
