Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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