I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
