He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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