RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
