Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
