what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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