Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
