I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
