yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
