in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
