Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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