He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
