so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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