I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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