I wannas sexs uuuuu
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
