i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize