What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
