Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
