we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize
