The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
