WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
