so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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