google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
