New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
