wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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