doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
