these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize