My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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