Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize