belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You can't special order awesome
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
