Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
