I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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