I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
