he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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