His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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