the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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