writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
