You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
