The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize