all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
