Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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