Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
