Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
