God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
