so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
