Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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