I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
