Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
