in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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