We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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