some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
