I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
