we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
