He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
