he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
