She said her name was "party"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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