Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
my being single is dangerous.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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