yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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