My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
