i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
