There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
